Why Discipline Isn't Working.
When it feels difficult to change habits, don’t lose hope.
Last summer, I experienced a season where I felt completely “in the zone.” My routine felt natural and effortless. I moved through my days with energy, focus, and clarity. Temptations didn’t feel like a battle.
However, after my youngest got married, I slowly began reintroducing sugar and processed carbohydrates into my routine. Before long, I found myself mindlessly purchasing a large Rice Krispie treat whenever I stopped at Kwik Trip. These brief bursts of pleasure were momentarily satisfying, but they gradually pulled me back into habits I no longer wanted.
What once felt like an effortless, healthy routine—centered on protein and vegetables—began to feel like a sacrifice. As I write this, my spring wardrobe no longer fits the way it once did. More importantly, I recognize that I want to feel like my authentic self again.
This realization led me to revisit the same tools I use with my clients. I am currently walking through this process myself—integrating neuroscience, psychology, virtue development, and faith-based practices. What I am reminded of is this: lasting change is not just about discipline. True transformation happens when we retrain the brain to recognize and desire what is truly good.
Understanding the Brain
Different parts of the brain play important roles in how we experience temptation, motivation, and follow-through:
Limbic system (amygdala, nucleus accumbens): Drives impulses, cravings, and the desire for immediate rewards. This is where sugar, social media, and other “quick hits” feel especially compelling.
Prefrontal cortex (PFC): Supports intentional decision-making, planning, and self-regulation. It allows us to pause, reflect, and choose wisely.
Hippocampus: Helps store memory and context, allowing us to remember what has been meaningful or rewarding in the past.
Dopamine pathways: Guide motivation and learning by signaling what the brain expects to be rewarding.
When the impulsive parts of the brain dominate, even small temptations can feel overwhelming. With awareness and practice, we can engage the prefrontal cortex, shift our response, and create healthier patterns.
Why Discipline Alone Often Fails
Relying on sheer discipline does not change what the brain perceives as rewarding. You may resist a temptation in the moment, but the underlying desire often remains.
Sustainable change requires something deeper: retraining the brain to find genuine satisfaction in healthier, value-aligned choices. Over time, these choices can become not only easier—but more fulfilling.
Positive Predictive Error: Rewiring Reward
One powerful concept in habit change is positive predictive error:
Your brain expects the old habit to be more rewarding.
Instead, you choose a healthier, value-aligned action—such as mindful eating, going for a walk, reaching out to a loved one, exercising, or spending time in prayer.
You intentionally notice and appreciate the goodness of that choice in the moment.
When the new experience feels better than expected, your brain begins to update what it considers rewarding. Over time, this strengthens new neural pathways and reduces the pull of old habits.
How I Apply Pause, Reframe, Virtue, and Faith
In both my personal life and coaching work, I rely on four key tools:
1. Pause
The moment of temptation is an opportunity. Even a brief pause—a breath, a moment of awareness—can shift control from impulse to intention.
2. Reframe
Ask yourself:
“Does this align with my authentic self?”
“Am I choosing this, or is it choosing me?”
This helps redirect the brain toward what truly matters. For example, during a challenging workout, instead of thinking, “I can’t do this,” I might reframe it as, “This is where growth happens.”
3. Virtue Strengths
Draw upon strengths such as perseverance, self-control, courage, and gratitude. These virtues act as internal guides, helping you make choices aligned with your values.
4. Faith and Purpose
Faith anchors the process. Prayer, reflection, and a simple intention—such as “Help me choose what is good, not just what is easy”—can quiet impulses and refocus the heart on a higher purpose.
Creating a New Reward Loop
With practice, a new pattern begins to form:
Cue → Pause → Prayer/Reframe → Aligned Action → Positive Reward
Each time you follow this pattern, your brain learns something new. What once felt like deprivation begins to feel like authentic satisfaction. Over time, old habits lose their appeal, and new ones take root.
Reclaiming the “Zone”
I want to return to that sense of clarity, energy, and focus I once experienced—and I know it’s possible. Not through perfection or sheer willpower, but by reshaping what my brain recognizes as rewarding.
This approach extends beyond nutrition. It can be applied to many areas of life, including communication, screen time, finances, and thought patterns. Wherever change is needed, this framework provides a path forward.
If you feel stuck in habits you don’t want, you are not alone. With awareness, intentional practice, and the right strategies, change is possible. You can build routines that reflect your values and support the life you are called to live.
In my coaching work, I help clients apply these principles to create lasting, faith-aligned change. God has entrusted each of us with a body, mind, and soul designed to flourish. He has also given us the tools, strengths, and grace needed to align our daily choices with that purpose.
When it seems too difficult to change habits, don’t lose hope…
