Coherence - Finding Purpose in Each Moment with God’s Guidance
I recently read the very inspiring and compelling book, The Meaning of Your Life by Arthur Brooks, a behavioral scientist and fellow Catholic. Brooks argues that happiness consists of three components: enjoyment, satisfaction, and meaning, with the greatest emphasis on meaning.
None of these concepts were particularly novel to me. Enjoyment is certainly part of happiness, but if enjoyment is all we pursue, we often find ourselves longing for something more that we cannot quite identify. Our culture encourages us to work hard and play hard—to reward ourselves with vacations, dining out, entertainment, shopping, or spa days. These things can be good gifts, but without meaning, they rarely satisfy the deeper longings of the human heart.
Many clients come to me believing they are simply disorganized, stuck, or unhappy at work. Often, however, what they truly long for is meaning: a sense of connection, purpose, and belonging.
Brooks describes meaning as having three elements: coherence, purpose, and significance.Purpose is perhaps the easiest to understand. It involves direction, vocation, and goals. It asks: How am I called to serve God and others? This is often where coaching can be especially helpful, helping people discover clarity, build healthy habits, understand their gifts, and align their lives with their vocation.
Significance answers the question, “Why do I matter?”
Brooks uses George Bailey from It’s a Wonderful Life as an example. George becomes overwhelmed by hardship and despair, believing his life has little value. Through the intervention of an angel, he sees the countless lives he has touched and the good he has brought into the world. He discovers that his life mattered. He was significant.
As Christians, we know that our significance is rooted not in our accomplishments but in our God-given dignity. We are loved because we are His children, not because of what we achieve. We matter because God created us intentionally and calls us by name.
The concept that struck me most deeply, however, was coherence.
Coherence is the feeling that life makes sense, even when we do not fully understand it. It is the trust that there is a larger story unfolding, one that includes both joy and suffering. It does not mean God causes hardship or that every difficulty has an obvious explanation. Rather, it is the conviction that our lives are not random and that God is present in every chapter of our story.
As Catholics, we might recognize coherence as one of the fruits of a life lived in relationship with God. It is the growing awareness that He is continually with us when the good or bad—with what we receive and how we respond in relationships, disappointments, prayers, and unexpected blessings. They are woven into something beautiful.
The image that comes to mind is the seamless garment of Christ at the Crucifixion.
In John’s Gospel, we read:
When the soldiers had crucified Jesus, they took his garments and divided them into four shares, one for each soldier. They also took his tunic, but the tunic was seamless, woven in one piece from the top down. So, they said to one another, “Let’s not tear it, but cast lots for it to see whose it will be.” (John 19:23-24)
The seamless garment was woven as one piece. It could not be divided without destroying its integrity.
Our lives often feel fragmented. We see only isolated events like successes, failures, losses, prayers, disappointments, and surprises. God sees the entire garment. He sees how every thread contributes to the whole design.
Perhaps coherence is the gradual realization that our lives are part of a seamless story being woven by our faith and God. Years later, we often discover connections that were invisible at the time. What seemed random reveals itself as meaningful. What seemed like devastation reveals a better story down the road. Even if not always, we can count on everlasting life. As we grow in faith and trust we begin to see this in our lives more clearly—a gift that grows with aging!
I was inspired to write about this because God answered a prayer of mine when I let go of a major worry and trusted in Him. I have experienced countless moments that are reminders of His providence.
Just yesterday, my son’s brother-in-law, who is a seminarian, stopped by our home while traveling. He told us about a dinner he attended at a home of someone’s in a small Iowa parish. When asking the host where she grew up, she said my hometown, a four-hour drive away. Somehow, not only did the young seminarian remember my hometown but also my maiden name and asked her if she knew us. To everyone’s surprise, she was in my high school graduating class of only 126 students. I had not seen or spoken with her in a very, very long time.
On its own, it may seem like a coincidence and insignificant to anything. Yet it is one of many such moments that continually occur in my life. I cannot always explain them. I do not always know what they mean. But together they create a sense of coherence, assurance that God is present and active in ways beyond my understanding. Connection. The seminarian’s connection to our family exists because of that remarkable answer to prayer years ago, involving my son, a prayer that required deep trust in God.
This week, my husband and I are dealing with a couple of unwanted surprises, and that experience whispered to me the message:
“You trusted Me then. Remember the goodness that followed. Trust Me now.”
Our family has experienced many joys, disappointments, losses, and unexpected blessings.
Through all of it, God continues to remind me that He is present in all of it.
Questions for Reflection
Coherence
When have you experienced an event that seemed random at the time but later revealed a deeper meaning?
What hardships in your life have ultimately produced unexpected growth or blessings?
Which threads connect different chapters of your life?
Are there moments when God seemed to answer a prayer in a way you did not expect?
What helps you trust God when you cannot see the whole picture?
Purpose
What do you believe God is calling you to in this season of life?
What activities leave you feeling energized and aligned with God’s will?
What responsibilities or relationships feel most meaningful to you right now?
How can you bring your gifts to vocational life in your family, parish, workplace, or community?
Significance
Who has been positively impacted by your life?
When have you experienced being deeply loved simply for who you are?
How do you remind yourself that your dignity comes from God rather than achievement?
As a Personal Growth Coach, Suzi Ellington is dedicated to helping others know their unique character strengths to support unique life systems of positive living contributing to flourishing and lasting happiness. Suzi earned her M.S. Psychology degree from Divine Mercy University based on the Catholic Christian meta-model of the person which is rooted in the science of psychology, philosophy, and the Catholic understanding of the person, and a certification specialization in Positive Psychology from UPenn.
